In just 24 hours we will unleash the first episode of Re:Fresh on Gamer Escape Radio, I hope you’ll join us.

In the meantime, I have to share this: Macklemore dropped this freshness today. Turn it up lound, jump around and get fucking hyped!

Macklemore X Ryan Lewis – Can’t Hold Us Feat. Ray Dalton by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Wow…what a song.

Also….just as a warning:

There will be fucking language. So…be ready for that.

I’d like to finally reveal the name of my new show which will be premiering live tomorrow on Gamer Escape Radio’s Shoutcast streaming station: Re:Fresh!

Re:Fresh will feature Nate Bender (aka Aniero) Will Cherry and Jake Weiner as hosts. As for topics of discussion: it’s pretty much whatever we want. We are hosted on a gaming network website so gaming will figure pretty heavily in the shows planning, however, we are not bound to one topic. Additionally; world news, social issues and politics will be something the show deals with. Lastly, but certainly not least, we will be playing music on Re:Fresh, which is very different from other shows I’ve produced. For legal reasons, and for times sake, the podcast version of the show will have most of the music edited out. We will have between 1 and 2 “featured” tracks played at the beginning of the show that will make it to the podcast. These tracks are meant to establish a mood or a topic and are meant to showcase the artist. I ask listeners to please keep an open mind and listen carefully to these songs; even if it may not be something your initially into.

So, that’s the plan. Catch the premier of Re:Fresh on Gamer Escape Radio Wednesday August 17 2011 at 8pm EDT.

We named our show after this Common Market song.

Common Market: http://www.commonmarketmusic.com/
RA Scion: http://www.rascion.com/vs/

Tomorrow I will reveal the show name as well as who’s hosting with me. Make sure to come back tomorrow…until then….ROCK!

Hello readers-

Did I mention that I suck at blogging? Wow, it’s been way way too long.

But it’s OK. It’s all good. Because I’ve been in the lab, working hard on something new for all you fans of my radio work: a brand new podcast!!

What is it? What’s it called? Those, right now, are closely guarded secrets…but you won’t have to wait long

So start counting down. The premier of our freshest show will be on Wednesday August 17′th 2011 at 8pm EST on Gamer Escape Radio.

If you want some clues about what direction this show is taking please enjoy the videos I’ll be posting leading to the announcement of the name of the new show and who are involved.

TURN IT UP!

So, one of the things I’m looking forward to in the next few months is the release of the Evangelion 2.22 English dub DVD release. And save your breath animu’s and weeaboo’s, I hate the way the Japanese language sounds. Nothing personal, but it’s grating and especially awful when being screamed…

So anyway, this has led to a lot of discussion about the Rebuild of Evangelion and whether or not it’s a continuation of the original series/movie or if it’s an entirely revised vision. At some point someone brought up that Shinji is becoming a badass in the Rebuild and actually growing up instead of staying emotionally stunted and closed off.

Here’s the way I see the difference in Shinji’s character between the series/EoE and the Rebuild:

Have you ever had moments in your life where you just can’t be helped? Something like depression, shame, apathy or anxiety has you stuck in this place where you can’t move, and because you can’t move it makes you sick. And, for all these emotional ailments we try to cover it up with the things that make us feel good: drugs (I mean drugs as in any chemical substance we put into our bodies to change the chemical composition of our brains), food, sex, video games, etc etc etc and we don’t just indulge, we overindulge.

Right? I mean, I can’t be the only one who does this. I think we all know what it is to overindulge in something as a means to escape reality. So, that’s what Shinji’s struggle means to me, and it speaks to the very essence of the human condition.

But sometimes, when we overindulge too much, it can kill us. That’s what happens to someone who OD’s on heroin when you get right down to it. And it doesn’t make eating yourself into a diabetic grave much different.

With that said, sometimes we get to a point where we’re in the act of overindulging in something, and we know it; and we know it will kill us. Something needs to change and it needs to change NOW. And when you get to that point either one of two things happens: you have something like a moment of epiphany where you not only realize and recognize what’s wrong but what you need to do to overcome the obstacles that are blocking progress (which usually means casting aside what we use to put between us and our problems), and that life is worth living. Or you keep indulging and ultimately die. Let’s call that emotional time & space “the edge” (cheesy I know, but just stay with me here).

It’s clear Shinji’s character is meant to indulge in escapism, as is represented by the SDAT player. We also know that the SDAT player is shown going between tracks 25 and 26 again and again. To me, this represents the loop that is like being stuck in any emotion.

So, I take the series ending and the End of Evangelion to mean and represent the same thing: the pushing of Shinji to “the edge” and at the very last moment before everything is lost, making the crucial decision that life is worth living and halting instrumentality. So, while we all have these moments of dark despair, obviously not all of us give in to such emotion. Many of us, when faced with hard choices or circumstances choose to bare the weight, take the pain, grow and become stronger. This is, I feel, where Shinji is emotionally near the end of Rebuild 2.22. He’s at the beginning of that process. Interestingly enough, if the SDAT player is indeed supposed to represent Shinji’s escapism. It should be important to note that Shinji discards the SDAT player in disgust at his fathers actions just before the fight with Zeruel, and that Rei has that in the entry plug with her when she gets eaten by Zeruel.

Sorry I didn’t mean for this post to be so long, this is what happens when you graduate college and suddenly have no more essays to write. Doesn’t help I majored in media studies…

2 movies is still a long way to go narrative wise, and with all the changes, we have no clue what to expect. It’s nice because it gives us something to look forward to and speculate on. Shinji could be a badass now, but who knows if his character will keep developing or if Rei will give him back his SDAT player and, in essence, give Shinji back his hopelessness. And things such as the streak of blood on the moon and the sea being red could be attributed to what happens during Rebuild’s 2nd impact. The 3rd movie will hopefully follow the flow of the series and expand of NERVs back story and maybe even give us a better idea of what 2nd Impact was like. I really want it to be a “Dark Tower like continuation” but I also recognize this as possible misdirection.

You can pick up the upcoming the 2.22 as a pre-order special for just $10 at Amazon

I recently found out I lost a friend. I’ve known people that have died, that’s nothing new. It’s not as if my grandparents aren’t my friends, and there have been a few people that went to my high school and college that I had interacted with that died….but this is different.

This guy, Tom, was a friend of a close friend of mine and eventually we all ended up in a band together. It was the first band I had ever really been in. Even though I can’t play bass any better today then when I could when I was 16, we had to remember real songs, that we all had written together. It was a great time in all our lives, I think. When I remember back playing in Tom’s basement, it was just so much fun. For a while, we would record our practices on a camcorder one of our parents had, and we would listen back and say “well, it’s better than the Casualties” and laugh like jackals. Tom wrote the majority of the songs we played. I feel privileged to have been able to scream his lyrics. Tom was always really in touch with his Irish roots which motivated a lot of his music and the direction he wanted to take. At the time I think I was more pre-occupied with being “more punk”. I can’t remember exactly how the group split but I can say for sure that each of us had our own aspirations musically. I have no idea whether or not Tom continued to make music, I assume (or rather hope) he did, he was a mighty talented drummer.

When your in a band with someone there is most definitely a bond that develops at some point. That bond, while it can be broken by things as ethereal and petty as ego and emotions, never really goes away. Even bands with members that can at time absolutely hate each other can always find that bond somewhere. It’s weird, and it’s not true all the time, and granted I’ve only ever been a part of two bands in my life, but I also know it’s true.

So, what happened? I don’t know how much I should reveal. He died. I can say that. I just don’t know how much he or his family would want people to say about it. I know you don’t know who I’m actually talking about, but that’s not the point. I have to do right by him, his family and his memory. So, he’s gone. And, apparently, it happened a little while ago, back in 2010.

I’ve known about this for about 3 or 5 days, trying to process it. I won’t lie to you, I’m having problems handling it. I hadn’t talked to him in years. I’m really sad I didn’t, somehow, keep in touch with him. I saw him once in like 2005 or 2006, I can’t remember, and it was so awesome to see him again even for that brief amount of time. I’m so thankful that he came to visit me. I wish I could remember more of that day now. I know at the time I took it for granted and probably didn’t think much other than “it was really nice to seem him again”. I regret that. I also regret missing his funeral, though on that count it may be a blessing in disguise. I’ve been having trouble with keeping my negative emotions in check lately and that whole scene may have put me on the edge of despair instead of just wrestling with listlessness and depression.

Enough of that morose crap. Because Tom was a person that was always up for fun. Every time we hung out it was a lot of laughing, smiles and mayhem. Tom would do anything and go to any lengths to make someone laugh. He was a good friend, a great man and someone I’ll never forget. He taught me the struggle of the IRA and what it meant to work hard. Sorry we didn’t spend more time together.

I struggle to write here. This has to be clear by now. It’s probably because I hate writing about myself. It seems a bit egotistical, and it’s far too straight forward. I like things ambiguous, and messy. Though, I’ll admit, I love to read about the people I admire, their thoughts and the stuff that happens to them on any given day.

This led me to the question: how do I talk about myself in a way that doesn’t actually talk about myself? If you’re answer is talk in the 3′rd person then you’ve learned nothing about me and get out. Now.

I think the answer is a series of songs and videos that, when played in order, tell a story.

Is that more egotistical? It might be. But it is ambiguous, and I do like that. Are these songs that I listened to as I grew up? Grew as an individual? What story am I telling? Do I even know what I’m doing? You don’t know. That’s the ball of yarn you have to unravel, and don’t bother to ask because I won’t tell.

I have no idea how many stages this story will take to tell. It’s a way of trying to find interest in writing here. So here’s how this works: the video below starts the journey, play the video below it next to continue to the next step. These videos and songs have been chosen very specifically so please don’t skip steps or songs. It may be like skipping a chapter of a book or a season of a TV series.

So here we go…

’til next time….